I thought the whole point of HD was that it was finally what life looks like. In High Definition. How could something be 4 times clearer? Are they adding shit that’s not actually there? Puttin puppies in the shot? Adding kittens and fixing muthafuckas’ smiles? Are future TV’s gonna predict the future? Enough of this.
7 hours ago 1:21 am
My best friend @JasonNazar just sold his tech company Docstoc! I’m so proud of him and happy for him. He has worked so hard and is so talented. So…we decided to celebrate. #congrats #bigday #friendship #waterfalls
2 days ago 3:13 am
Happy to announce I’m the new spokesperson for Lamps Plus. #proud #ofmyself
2 days ago 5:19 pm
I’m on @ChelseaLately_E tonight with @sarahtiana & @mattbraunger. @ChelseaHandler and I discuss what it would be like if we were married. (Hint: Apparently not great.)
3 days ago 6:22 pm
I made the cover of the entertainment pullout of the newspaper. In Erie Pennsylvania. I believe that is what is (not) called the BIG TIME. #totalhumblebragcuziwasexcitedtoseethat #onemarketatatime
5 days ago 5:22 am
Photo with 1 note
View from my hotel window. Erie, Pennsylvania. (I’m gonna start posting my hotel windows each place I stay.)
5 days ago 1:24 pm
Cool lookin marquis at Jr’s Last Laugh here in Erie, PA. Great shows so far. 2 more tomorrow night. With my feature act @MoodyMcCarthy -funny dude.
1 week ago 6:10 pm
Ended up being on same red eye flight LA to Chicago with my comedy pals @DomIrrera & @TaylorComedy. It’s 5am. And I have 2 more flights. Cleveland then Erie. Why do I look surprised when I took the selfie? #3legflightssuckmyballs
1 week ago 3:12 am
Photo with 2 notes
Serving the underprivileged a warm Thanksgiving meal w/ my friends @TheChrisArmy & @NealBrennan @TheLaughFactory. A great annual tradition. I performed for them too, so I apologize for that.
1 week ago 4:56 pm
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